Monster May I

by Monster May I

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03:27

credits

released May 19, 2015

Daryl - voice, guitars
Zac - bass, voices
Chad - drums, voices

Recorded, mixed and mastered by Jalipaz at Audioconfusion.

(c) 2015 Monster May I. All rights reserved.

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all rights reserved

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about

Monster May I Phoenix, Arizona

The we in weapon and the I in crime.

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Track Name: Last Week's News
We turned the lights down low so we could catch the spark
One last flash of passion, one less Joan of Arc
I made my prayer to madness: 'Lord, keep these dying embers cold'
And we scattered both our ashes on the shores of growing old

Do you ever reach for something that you would never want to touch?
Do you light yourself a candle and pray not to burn so much?
Do you catch yourself rehearsing all the words that you would never use
And scream them all into the faces from last week's news?

Now you ask this ghost of me to say the things he used to say
I guess he never told you how I hate to love that way
How I made myself for you like some wishful wooden toy
Who learned not even love could make him a real boy

Do you ever reach for something that you would never want to touch?
Do you light yourself a candle and pray not to burn so much?
Do you catch yourself rehearsing all the words that you would never use
And scream them all into the faces from last week's news?

Like the twinkling of a star, love is always from afar
Where it shines its ancient sorrow, it shines its ancient sorrow
Reaching out across the years from our darkest childhood fears
And then disappears tomorrow, and then disappears tomorrow

Do you ever reach for something that you would never want to touch?
Do you light yourself a candle and pray not to burn so much?
Do you catch yourself rehearsing all the words that you would never use
And scream them all into the faces from last week's news?
Track Name: Father I Had
Father, I think I had that dream again
Where there's someone outside trying to come in
The sound of wind rushing through the leaves
And I wake up and I can hardly breathe

And though I know I've had that dream before
I still don't know who's out there at the door
I recognize him not by what I see
But by the terror rising up in me

Father, I cannot reckon what I am
Some kind of anger that became a man
Some kind of violence that became a flesh
Some set of claws climbing through my chest

The morning breaks as if by mistake
And we find that we've grown old
And that our body bought the things we thought we stole

Father, I think I had that dream again
The stranger said that I should speak with him
The sound of wind whispering through the leaves
And I wake up and I can hardly breathe

Father, how do I know what dreams to trust
When there's a brokenness in all of
But then, what if that fracture in every life
Is the very space through which our guest arrives?

The morning breaks as if by mistake
And we find that we've grown old
And that our body bought the things we thought we stole

Father, I had that dream again...
Track Name: Your Face a Shooting Star
I saw your face in a passing car
You had the grace of a shooting star
That falls through empty space
I couldn't tell if it was really you
You know, back then I used to think that too
That you were just your face

Back then I was cursed with the second sight
You used to walk in my dreams at night
Or else you'd lay so still
But out here the world moves much too fast
And carries dreams I can't seem to catch
And space that nothing fills

And if you live long enough
You'll fall in love with every face you knew
But you yourself will call your bluff
In all that stuff you claim to've suffered through
It was never you

We love the earth but we hate the world
We want to fall, but we've all been hurled
Like seeds upon these stones
Or like stones against these seeds
Who force the fields to yield our needs
We learn to love alone

Yes, there was a time I dwelled in you
I couldn't tell who was dreaming who
Or which of us was real
I saw your face in a passing car
I saw your face like a shooting star
Or a flame too dim to feel

And if you live long enough
You'll fall in love with every face you knew
But you yourself will call your bluff
In all that stuff you claim to've suffered through
It was never you

I saw your face in a passing car
And how I wonder what you are
What sign you shine for now
And whose dream your dream resolves
And whose bed will break your fall
When all our stars come down
Track Name: One of the Good Guys
The tales she tells could break your heart just to hear them told
I ask myself, when I hear her hurt, how much hell a heart can hold
So when she says, 'Way back when, this is how it happened'
And when she cries for the monster in men, the hell inside me opens

And I reach to catch her teardrops and I clear them with my kiss
And I say, 'Let me always keep me near you,' and I whisper her a promise:

'I swear on my heart, this heart that fights, punches in my chest
When I pray tonight, He can beg me for forgiveness
Who made this world where angels wrists are clawed upon my devils
I will hold all this hell in my fist, I will be God's avenging angel'

And she reaches for my teardrops, and she rubs them from my eyes
And she says, 'You don't have to be a hero, just be one of the good guys

'You don't have to be a hero, just be one of the good guys...'
Track Name: Goodnight Goodnight
My muse, my spark, how I have loved your dark
And the solitude you clasped around my heart
And all these years I have pledged to you my tears
And you have given me the comfort of your fears

I came to you back then, a boy no more than ten
And you saw how badly I needed a friend
And oh, how proud I was to take that vow
And how lovely you looked in your veil and shroud

I said I'd stay in your arms and never go
As if a boy could promise not to grow

And so goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, my love, goodnight
And this time may I wake into the light
I've sung your song and I have loved you long
But now it's time I meet the day, my love, goodnight

My ark, my storm, your cold has kept me warm
I have shivered in the fever of your forms
And thus this life has been carved by your knife
From that first evening when I took you for my wife

And these pains you kill are aching for you still
I love you and I know I always will
But here we must part, dear lady of the dark
As I untie these knots we fastened round my heart

I said I'd sleep in your arms and never rise
As if a man could die before he dies

And so goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, my love, goodnight
And this time may I wake into the light
I've sung your song and I have loved you long
But now it's time I meet the day, my love, goodnight

It's time I meet the day, my love, goodnight
Track Name: Love Me One More Time
Mother be my comfort and mother be my harm
I dreamed and cried and drowned inside the ocean of your arms
I first learned about dying when I saw that I was me
And that you were you, and the ocean in between

Lover be my comfort and lover be my rage
I sank so deep into your sleep I saw my body age
And some place in me keeps grieving, though I don't know what it grieves
Where someone's always leaving, but never leaves

Right behind my heart I find her waiting like a crime
Saying, 'Baby won't you, baby can't you love me one more time'
And I laugh until I cry until she laughs until I cry
She says, 'You'll only have to love me one more time

'You'll only have to love me
You'll only have to love me one more time'

Right behind my heart I find her waiting like a crime
Saying, 'Baby won't you, baby can't you love me one more time'
And I laugh until I cry until she laughs until I cry
She says, 'You'll only have to love me, have to love me one more time'

And there's a kind of grace inside that space that almost feels like rest
A certain pain, like needles raining, raining through my chest
And I keep falling somehow, falling, and she keeps calling like a rhyme
She says, 'You'll only have to love me one more time

'You'll only have to love me
You'll only have to love me one more time

'You'll only have to love me one more time'
Track Name: Black the Blue
To all you hearts who feel the way I do
Like something snuck in somewhere and buried you
And to all you souls who haunt this tattered night
You know nothing we wish for will ever set things right

So we cash in our social capital
That list of loved ones that we can't seem to love at all
All that life and light that you can't quite reach or touch
It's always insufficient, it's always much too much

So let's hit the town, smile and hide our freakish face
And baby, ain't this world a lonely, lonely place
By nature cursed, or else by nurture carved
We ache to cry out, to cry out the creatures that we are

Baby, rise, rise, rise, black the blue skies
Rise, rise, rise, black the blue skies
Even as we fall, fall, fall to earth, we fill these arms that hold these hurts
And rise, rise, rise to black the blue skies

You go back home, you leave the lights down low
And steer clear of mirrors and that enemy shape they show
You rack your brain, you go groping through that dark
Hoping to find that fatal wound, that one decisive scar

As if it would heal to yield some perfect life
As if a destiny was ever shaped without a knife
As if your song was just some static noise
As if your screaming was someone else's voice

So cry out loud, the proud song of fear and shame
And maybe the darkness will speak its secret name
Rise, baby, rise, rise like some darkened star
Rise up and cry out, and cry out the creature that you are

Baby, rise, rise, rise, black the blue skies
Rise, rise, rise, black the blue skies
Even as we fall, fall, fall to earth, we fill these arms that hold these hurts
And rise, rise, rise to black the blue skies

Rise, rise, rise, black the blue skies
Track Name: Nocturne
The dark upon the day becomes the dark of night
Where every form recedes from sight you find your faith by firelight
Where everything is hidden but no longer hides
I found out that everything is justified

And who can reckon all the things a man can want
A hundred phantom hungers whispering wishes to the heart they haunt
A silhouette reflected in the car outside
I found out that everything is justified

And it's down, down, down the dark, our dame devours the remnant spark
Of sun and sons, and everyone who casts his shadow wears her mark
Way-hey up she rise, and who can face her famished eyes
The blackness there and everything it justifies

I walked awhile, I saw a place with neon lights
A place where people keep their faces bright, like amulets against the night
I noticed then that they're the ones who were terrified

I walked behind the building, where the cars were parked
I crouched between two pickup trucks and noticed, in the waiting dark
My silhouette reflected in the driver's side
And I found out that everything is justified

And it's down, down, down the dark, our dame devours the remnant spark
Of sun and sons, and everyone who casts his shadow wears her mark
Way-hey up she rise, and who can face her famished eyes
The blackness there and everything it justifies