We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Monster May I

by Monster May I

/
  • Digital Album
    Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $7 USD  or more

    You own this

     

1.
We turned the lights down low so we could catch the spark One last flash of passion, one less Joan of Arc I made my prayer to madness: 'Lord, keep these dying embers cold' And we scattered both our ashes on the shores of growing old Do you ever reach for something that you would never want to touch? Do you light yourself a candle and pray not to burn so much? Do you catch yourself rehearsing all the words that you would never use And scream them all into the faces from last week's news? Now you ask this ghost of me to say the things he used to say I guess he never told you how I hate to love that way How I made myself for you like some wishful wooden toy Who learned not even love could make him a real boy Do you ever reach for something that you would never want to touch? Do you light yourself a candle and pray not to burn so much? Do you catch yourself rehearsing all the words that you would never use And scream them all into the faces from last week's news? Like the twinkling of a star, love is always from afar Where it shines its ancient sorrow, it shines its ancient sorrow Reaching out across the years from our darkest childhood fears And then disappears tomorrow, and then disappears tomorrow Do you ever reach for something that you would never want to touch? Do you light yourself a candle and pray not to burn so much? Do you catch yourself rehearsing all the words that you would never use And scream them all into the faces from last week's news?
2.
Father I Had 03:50
Father, I think I had that dream again Where there's someone outside trying to come in The sound of wind rushing through the leaves And I wake up and I can hardly breathe And though I know I've had that dream before I still don't know who's out there at the door I recognize him not by what I see But by the terror rising up in me Father, I cannot reckon what I am Some kind of anger that became a man Some kind of violence that became a flesh Some set of claws climbing through my chest The morning breaks as if by mistake And we find that we've grown old And that our body bought the things we thought we stole Father, I think I had that dream again The stranger said that I should speak with him The sound of wind whispering through the leaves And I wake up and I can hardly breathe Father, how do I know what dreams to trust When there's a brokenness in all of But then, what if that fracture in every life Is the very space through which our guest arrives? The morning breaks as if by mistake And we find that we've grown old And that our body bought the things we thought we stole Father, I had that dream again...
3.
I saw your face in a passing car You had the grace of a shooting star That falls through empty space I couldn't tell if it was really you You know, back then I used to think that too That you were just your face Back then I was cursed with the second sight You used to walk in my dreams at night Or else you'd lay so still But out here the world moves much too fast And carries dreams I can't seem to catch And space that nothing fills And if you live long enough You'll fall in love with every face you knew But you yourself will call your bluff In all that stuff you claim to've suffered through It was never you We love the earth but we hate the world We want to fall, but we've all been hurled Like seeds upon these stones Or like stones against these seeds Who force the fields to yield our needs We learn to love alone Yes, there was a time I dwelled in you I couldn't tell who was dreaming who Or which of us was real I saw your face in a passing car I saw your face like a shooting star Or a flame too dim to feel And if you live long enough You'll fall in love with every face you knew But you yourself will call your bluff In all that stuff you claim to've suffered through It was never you I saw your face in a passing car And how I wonder what you are What sign you shine for now And whose dream your dream resolves And whose bed will break your fall When all our stars come down
4.
The tales she tells could break your heart just to hear them told I ask myself, when I hear her hurt, how much hell a heart can hold So when she says, 'Way back when, this is how it happened' And when she cries for the monster in men, the hell inside me opens And I reach to catch her teardrops and I clear them with my kiss And I say, 'Let me always keep me near you,' and I whisper her a promise: 'I swear on my heart, this heart that fights, punches in my chest When I pray tonight, He can beg me for forgiveness Who made this world where angels wrists are clawed upon my devils I will hold all this hell in my fist, I will be God's avenging angel' And she reaches for my teardrops, and she rubs them from my eyes And she says, 'You don't have to be a hero, just be one of the good guys 'You don't have to be a hero, just be one of the good guys...'
5.
My muse, my spark, how I have loved your dark And the solitude you clasped around my heart And all these years I have pledged to you my tears And you have given me the comfort of your fears I came to you back then, a boy no more than ten And you saw how badly I needed a friend And oh, how proud I was to take that vow And how lovely you looked in your veil and shroud I said I'd stay in your arms and never go As if a boy could promise not to grow And so goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, my love, goodnight And this time may I wake into the light I've sung your song and I have loved you long But now it's time I meet the day, my love, goodnight My ark, my storm, your cold has kept me warm I have shivered in the fever of your forms And thus this life has been carved by your knife From that first evening when I took you for my wife And these pains you kill are aching for you still I love you and I know I always will But here we must part, dear lady of the dark As I untie these knots we fastened round my heart I said I'd sleep in your arms and never rise As if a man could die before he dies And so goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, my love, goodnight And this time may I wake into the light I've sung your song and I have loved you long But now it's time I meet the day, my love, goodnight It's time I meet the day, my love, goodnight
6.
Mother be my comfort and mother be my harm I dreamed and cried and drowned inside the ocean of your arms I first learned about dying when I saw that I was me And that you were you, and the ocean in between Lover be my comfort and lover be my rage I sank so deep into your sleep I saw my body age And some place in me keeps grieving, though I don't know what it grieves Where someone's always leaving, but never leaves Right behind my heart I find her waiting like a crime Saying, 'Baby won't you, baby can't you love me one more time' And I laugh until I cry until she laughs until I cry She says, 'You'll only have to love me one more time 'You'll only have to love me You'll only have to love me one more time' Right behind my heart I find her waiting like a crime Saying, 'Baby won't you, baby can't you love me one more time' And I laugh until I cry until she laughs until I cry She says, 'You'll only have to love me, have to love me one more time' And there's a kind of grace inside that space that almost feels like rest A certain pain, like needles raining, raining through my chest And I keep falling somehow, falling, and she keeps calling like a rhyme She says, 'You'll only have to love me one more time 'You'll only have to love me You'll only have to love me one more time 'You'll only have to love me one more time'
7.
To all you hearts who feel the way I do Like something snuck in somewhere and buried you And to all you souls who haunt this tattered night You know nothing we wish for will ever set things right So we cash in our social capital That list of loved ones that we can't seem to love at all All that life and light that you can't quite reach or touch It's always insufficient, it's always much too much So let's hit the town, smile and hide our freakish face And baby, ain't this world a lonely, lonely place By nature cursed, or else by nurture carved We ache to cry out, to cry out the creatures that we are Baby, rise, rise, rise, black the blue skies Rise, rise, rise, black the blue skies Even as we fall, fall, fall to earth, we fill these arms that hold these hurts And rise, rise, rise to black the blue skies You go back home, you leave the lights down low And steer clear of mirrors and that enemy shape they show You rack your brain, you go groping through that dark Hoping to find that fatal wound, that one decisive scar As if it would heal to yield some perfect life As if a destiny was ever shaped without a knife As if your song was just some static noise As if your screaming was someone else's voice So cry out loud, the proud song of fear and shame And maybe the darkness will speak its secret name Rise, baby, rise, rise like some darkened star Rise up and cry out, and cry out the creature that you are Baby, rise, rise, rise, black the blue skies Rise, rise, rise, black the blue skies Even as we fall, fall, fall to earth, we fill these arms that hold these hurts And rise, rise, rise to black the blue skies Rise, rise, rise, black the blue skies
8.
Nocturne 03:27
The dark upon the day becomes the dark of night Where every form recedes from sight you find your faith by firelight Where everything is hidden but no longer hides I found out that everything is justified And who can reckon all the things a man can want A hundred phantom hungers whispering wishes to the heart they haunt A silhouette reflected in the car outside I found out that everything is justified And it's down, down, down the dark, our dame devours the remnant spark Of sun and sons, and everyone who casts his shadow wears her mark Way-hey up she rise, and who can face her famished eyes The blackness there and everything it justifies I walked awhile, I saw a place with neon lights A place where people keep their faces bright, like amulets against the night I noticed then that they're the ones who were terrified I walked behind the building, where the cars were parked I crouched between two pickup trucks and noticed, in the waiting dark My silhouette reflected in the driver's side And I found out that everything is justified And it's down, down, down the dark, our dame devours the remnant spark Of sun and sons, and everyone who casts his shadow wears her mark Way-hey up she rise, and who can face her famished eyes The blackness there and everything it justifies

credits

released May 19, 2015

Daryl - voice, guitars
Zac - bass, voices
Chad - drums, voices

Recorded, mixed and mastered by Jalipaz at Audioconfusion.

(c) 2015 Monster May I. All rights reserved.

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Monster May I Phoenix, Arizona

The we in weapon and the I in crime.

contact / help

Contact Monster May I

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Report this album or account